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    Archives
     By  Staff Reports Published 
    7:09 pm Thursday, December 18, 2003

    Why is Horn in trouble but Millen not?

    By By Will Bardwell / staff writer
    Dec. 18, 2003
    Well isn't this interesting.
    New Orleans Saints wide receiver Joe Horn pulls out a cell phone after a touchdown and gets fined more money than I make in a year. Detroit Lions president Matt Millen uses a gay slur and so far has gotten nothing.
    Way to go, Paul Tagliabue.
    The two incidents are not directly related, of course. What connects them is the attention they've gotten from the NFL commissioner's office or in Millen's case, the lack of attention.
    Before I start on Horn, let me clear something up. I am not a Saints fan. I hate the city of New Orleans. The whole town is a dump. As Agent Smith said in The Matrix, "It's the smell, if there is such a thing."
    But that's not the point. Coincidentally, I was talking on my own cell phone when Horn pulled his out in the end zone on Sunday night. Saints hater or not, my Nokia hit the floor and so did I. It was hilarious. I loved it, and I thoroughly plan on pulling the same stunt the next time I play backyard football with friends.
    Funny or not, Horn was fined $30,000 yesterday and came close to a two-game suspension. He knew before he dialed up that he'd get in trouble, but he probably didn't suspect he'd get bilked out of that much.
    Like I said, I laughed, but I sure didn't get $30,000 worth of entertainment.
    But then you've got Matt Millen. After his Lions got thrashed by Kansas City on Sunday (who saw that one coming?), he went off on Chiefs wide receiver Johnny Morton. In front of a handful of witnesses, Millen screamed a gay slur twice at Morton (it rhymes with "maggot"). Real classy.
    So let's recap. On one hand, you've got a football player who went too far celebrating a touchdown. He owes the NFL three-quarters of his weekly pay.
    On the other hand, you've got a team executive a team president, no less who offended potentially millions of people. And as of yet, no reaction from the league.
    Are you kidding me?
    I'm not trying to tell anybody what to think about homosexuality, but it's almost 2004. We could at least try to live peaceably, and it would be nice for a public figure like Millen to not act like an idiot. I guess that was too much to ask, but apparently that doesn't bother the NFL.
    I suppose Horn's punishment was deserved, but the degree of punishment was ridiculous. Pulling out a pistol and shooting a referee's thumb off would've drawn a smaller fine.
    If either of the two incidents deserve retribution, it's Millen's. The guy ought to be fired as soon as possible. Bigotry aside, the team has yet to win its 10th game since he took over three years ago.
    He drafted a hugely overrated quarterback in Joey Harrington and has a defense that makes Arizona look like the 1986 Bears. Even Steve Mariucci can't turn this joke of a franchise around.
    Maybe Mariucci should go too (granted it's his first year), but that brings up another point. Mariucci is only there because Millen hired him after refusing to interview any other candidates that were black, white, gay, straight or otherwise. I guess Dennis Green's eight playoff appearances in Minnesota weren't impressive enough to bring him in for a talk.
    So which is worse for the game? A wide receiver entertaining his home crowd, or an underqualified team executive who ignores league mandates for minority hiring practices and throws around gay slurs?
    The answer seems pretty obvious, but don't tell that to the NFL.
    Bigotry? Ah, no big deal.
    End zone celebrations? Horrors! Fine the vermin! In the words of Dean Wormer from Animal House, "No more fun of any kind!"
    Whether or not there's any room in the NFL for Joe Horn's flamboyant celebrations is up for debate.
    Even if you think Horn should be punished, there is absolutely no debating that Matt Millen's outburst has no place in football or society in general.
    And apparently, there's no debate within the league office on whose sin was worse.

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