Columnists, COLUMNS--FEATURE SPOT, Opinion, Scot Beard
 By  Scot Beard Published 
8:00 am Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Absurd comments make me crack a smile

I often try to find the humor in things because life is usually easier if you can have a good chuckle along the way.

Some events are so horrific there is no humor to be found, but many situations are begging to be made fun of. Monday, within the span of 30 minutes, I heard two things that made me stop, consider the absurdity of the situation then laugh.

The first situation was while I was driving to an interview and I heard a commercial on the radio for Heritage for the Blind. Now I do not find humor in the loss of vision, but I do find it odd this organization was asking people to donate cars.

There was no explanation as to how the donated cars would benefit the blind, so the listener could draw only one logical conclusion — the cars are for the blind people.

I’m sure Heritage for the Blind is a fine charity — I have done no research on the organization to verify that statement, however — but it seems odd it wants cars.

Is Heritage for the Blind in collusion with the people who put Braille on the buttons of the drive-thru ATMs?

Surprisingly the commercial was not the incident that caught my attention the most.

While searching for an apartment, a friend of mine inquired about the pet policy. He was told that he could have pets if they did not exceed 20 pounds and the pets were not vicious breeds.

This makes sense at first but further examination reveals the silliness of this policy. Think of all the dog breeds that weigh less than 20 pounds. Now think of how many of those breeds have a reputation for being vicious.

I have never seen anybody running for his or her life because a Bichon Frise was chasing that individual.

I know of a few small dogs that think they are vicious, but in reality couldn’t hurt air.

My sister is the proud owner of a Dachshund named Bunny. Bunny thinks she is as big and bad as the meanest Rottweiler, but when you turn and growl back she tucks her tail and backs away.

Can small dogs be vicious when they have breed names such as Silky Terrier, Dandie Dinmont Terrier, Dorkie, or — my personal favorite for absurdity — YorkiePoo?

I also subscribe to the theory that if a dog can fit in a purse, by nature, it can’t be vicious.

Sorry, I’m not trying to be sexist or anything, I’m only saying dogs that small are more like glorified rats than real dogs. As such I will only be terrified of them if they are carrying the black plague.

It might not be the most popular viewpoint, but it makes more sense than donating cars to blind people.

Also on Franklin County Times
Dowdy sentencing delayed due to medical emergency
News, Russellville, Z - News Main
By Brady Petree For the FCT 
January 7, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE — The sentencing of Brandy Dowdy will have to wait until another day after her defense attorney suffered a “medical emergency” on Tuesday...
Legislative session opens Jan. 13; Kiel prefiles 2 bills
Main, News, Russellville, ...
By Addi Broadfoot For the FCT 
January 7, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE -- State Rep. Jamie Kiel has prefiled two bills ahead of the 2026 Alabama legislative session. The bills, which will be considered when l...
Hollimon reflects on 40 years in education
Main, News, Russellville, ...
María Camp maria.camp@franklincountytimes.com 
January 7, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE – Dr. Deanna Hollimon always felt she was called to be an educator. After 40 years as a teacher, reading coach, administrator and educati...
Firefighters train for vehicle rescues
News, Russellville, Z - News Main
María Camp maria.camp@franklincountytimes.com 
January 7, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE — City firefighters trained last week on how to stabilize overturned vehicles and remove trapped occupants. Fire Chief Joe Mansell said t...
Neighbors helping neighbors, one soda pop tab at a time
Columnists, Opinion
HERE AND NOW
January 7, 2026
Most people don’t think twice about the small aluminum tab on top of a soda can. But those tiny pieces of metal have quietly helped families stay clos...
2025: A year of results for Alabama families
Columnists, Opinion
January 7, 2026
The past year has certainly been a memorable one — and, more importantly, a rewarding one. Beginning the year by leading the Laken Riley Act through t...
Author’s collapse was motivation for comeback
News
Chelsea Retherford For the FCT 
January 7, 2026
When Pete Key collapsed on the bathroom floor in 2024, it didn’t feel like a turning point. It felt like an ending. He had been sick for days — dehydr...
Phil Campbell’s Elliott hits 1,000th career point
High School Sports, Phil Campbell Bobcats, Sports
Bart Moss For the FCT 
January 7, 2026
The Phil Campbell Bobcats kicked off the 2026 calendar year in style Saturday night, securing a decisive 54-37 victory over the visiting Belgreen Bull...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *