NFL season ends on sour, stupid note

By By Josh Taylor/sports writer
February 8, 2004
That's it? This is how it ends?
After weeks and weeks of games and a great Super Bowl we all end the NFL season talking about the breast of someone related to Michael Jackson?
There's irony here somewhere, but I just can't put my finger on it.
It would be easy for me to sit here and say that Janet Jackson should be ashamed about what she did, but we already know that. We all knew that as soon as it happened. I am excluding everyone that lives in California from the previous statement.
The truth is that we as fans and sports writers should be ashamed of ourselves for letting this idiotic event overshadow what was one of the Super Bowls' greatest matchups. I almost could not bring myself to write this column because it justifies the reason Jackson did it in the first place, publicity.
Here's how this whole thing should have gone down. Immediately following the game CBS should have announced that MTV would never again be involved with the Super Bowl halftime show, and that Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake were banned from their airwaves for a period of two years. The Federal Communications Commission should have followed this up with a one million dollar fine for CBS. Finally, the NFL should have stated the following morning that CBS would never again broadcast a Super Bowl.
Here's the reality of what happened. Janet Jackson flashed her breast. The FCC criticized her, CBS and MTV. CBS apologizes for the mistake. Jackson takes the blame. The FCC talks big, but does nothing. That would be ironic if it weren't so sad.
I don't want you to get the wrong idea here. I am not a stuffy prudish person. A lot of people criticized Kid Rock for wearing an American flag as a poncho. This probably wasn't a real bright idea, but he isn't the first or the last person to do this. Get over it.
Jackson's behavior was different. It was over the line.
Don't think that I am forgetting about the NFL. The corporate morons in charge are the ones that let it go this far to begin with. What happened to marching bands at halftime? How about a nice dance routine from each teams' cheerleading squad? Would that have been so bad?
I guess we can look forward to next year's halftime show produced by Girls Gone Wild.'
I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with The Man Show' on Comedy Central? This show features a daily segment called Girls On Trampolines.' As you may have guessed, the segment shows girls in bikinis, short skirts, maids outfits, etc doing the obvious, jumping on trampolines. I wouldn't call this high brow entertainment, but it doesn't pretend to be. It is what it is, stupid, mindless entertainment.
This is what makes the Super Bowl different. Yes, football is a man's sport that appeals to the lowest form of entertainment, violence. But the Super Bowl is hyped up to be a unofficial national holiday. Half of it's viewers watch just to see the commercials and the halftime show. It's a celebration of American culture. It's not the place to push social boundaries.
The answer is to ban Jackson and Timberlake from CBS's airwaves for two years as above mentioned. The FCC can fine networks all they want, they've got the money to pay for it. The only way to stop celebrities from acting like idiots is to take away the one thing that fuels their lives and careers publicity. Take this away from one celebrity and see how the rest fall in line.
Memories of 2003
Another NFL season comes to an end and we are left with only memories to keep us going for the next five months until the next season begins.
How could we forget Joe Horn and his cell phone? This was utterly tacky, but it was also one of the best prepared displays of mediocrity I have ever witnessed. I thought Terrell Owens held the monopoly on making a jerk out of himself, but leave it to a New Orleans Saint to top him.
Who could forget the perfectly ironic scenario that played out between Donovan McNabb and Rush Limbaugh? Hollywood script writers could not have come up with a better plot twist. Not only does ESPN get just what it asked for by hiring a not-so-minority-friendly Limbaugh, but the guy gets busted for being a drug addict a week later.
McNabb held up his end of the deal by rolling through the NFC on his way to a third straight conference title game. The only way to improve on this storyline would have been for McNabb to actually win the Super Bowl.
One statistic that has gone largely unnoticed is the New England Patriots' fifteen-game winning streak. Only two teams in NFL history have ever done this, the Patriots and the 1972 Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins of 72 were perfect, but their regular season was only 14 games long. Miami played three post-season games after the 72 regular season with number 17 being the Super Bowl.
The Patriots played 16 total regular season games this season. Three post-season games gives them a final record of 17-2 compared to the 72 Dolphins' 17-0 record. Who's better? We'll never know, but one thing is for sure, the Patriots have arrived.
How about the Buccaneers' fall from grace, the Raiders' fall from grace, the Vikings' fall from grace, the Giants' fall from… oh forget it.
Don't forget about the Cowboys' rise form the ashes, the Bengals' search for respect, the Redskins' continued problems and late season coaching surprise, the Falcons' preseason nightmare, and the continued story of Brett Favre.
All this tells me one thing I can't wait until next season. In the meantime, ice skating here I come!