Why do we still watch Tyson?
By By Stan Torgerson / sports columnist
Feb. 27, 2003
Making money, lots of money seems to be no problem these days. Not if you're a clown posing as an athlete who has a good public relations man on the payroll and a promoter who is part of the act.
Mike Tyson did it Saturday. He allegedly, and I say "allegedly" because the biggest loser in that Memphis farce Saturday night was the truth, he allegedly made $5 million big ones for fighting?????, make that play-acting, for 49 seconds against some palooka named Clifford Etienne.
Entienne, is so little known you had to read the story in Sunday's paper twice to spell his name right. He "allegedly" earned about $1 million for being Tyson's non-moving target. He may also be nominated for an Oscar since apparently Tyson belted him one on the chin and Etienne was on his back before Tyson's glove returned to his side.
Of course this type of talk may make me a committee of one. The Associated Press writer who covered the fight obviously wrote the story with a straight face. To quote:
At least you can say good old Clifford didn't disappoint. He knew his role and he played it well.
The prefight dog and pony show was probably the most entertaining part of this charade. Just a week ago Tyson, who allegedly has $6,5 million in alimony to pay, said he wasn't feeling well and even though it was going to be a $5 million dollar payday he just thought he might not be well enough to go through with it.
And Etienne said he didn't have to put up with this nonsense and who did Tyson think he was. Well, he'd show him. Not by giving him a good whipping, you understand, but by canceling the fight himself because his pride was hurt, million dollars or no million dollars. This from a guy who couldn't tell you how many zeroes there are in one million.
Hey Mike, if you'd like to give me a million in order to slug my ancient jaw with a single punch call me. I'm in the book under "T" as in Tank, which I would happily go into for a million.
Or do you think these other guys have a franchise on it?
But of course Tyson vs. what's his name wasn't the only highlite of the evening. There was the Tonya Harding-Samantha Browning four rounder. Eight whole minutes. Heck of a fight. Split decision. Of course, according to AP, very few punches were thrown, most of it being wrestling and holding, but hey, what's more attractive then a couple of sweaty girls in athletic bras and black shorts?
By the way, Browning won. Wonder what Tyson's people would pay her to be his next opponent.
Of all the sports fans in the world, is there anyone who doesn't believe boxing and wrestling followers are the most gullible? At least in recent years there have been some wrestlers and promoters who no longer say their's are matches or bouts or even contests but who use the word "exhibition " for their way of earning a living.
But this Tyson thing was billed as a legitimate "may the best man win" event and people paid $50 or $100 or more to see it. That's the way they sold it, Iron Mike on the comeback trail, now so savage he even had his face tatooed.
The human animal. Forget that Lennox Lewis almost killed him in his last championship bout. This next time will certainly be different and he was going to prove it Saturday night against whosis in the same ring that held his fight with Lewis.
At the very least this may earn a third try with Evander Holyfield who has proven that at near 40 he is not the man he was a near 30, but as long as people are willing to pay we'll do the dance again.
What boxing has become today, with a few notable exceptions, is a far cry from what it was, or could be. And it isn't going to change as long as there are people willing to pay big bucks for 49 seconds of so-called entertainment and four rounds of two girls pushing gloves big enough to be pillows in each others faces.
That television commercial where two girls pull hair and end up fighting in the mud is probably a better showand it's free.
