The coarsening of culture
By By Craig Ziemba / guest columnist
Feb. 16, 2003
Craig Ziemba is a pilot who lives in Meridian.
My family and I were in public not long ago when a teen-ager stopped right in front of us and let loose a string of four letter words into his cell phone. As he continued his verbal barrage, I clapped a hand on his shoulder, turned him around and told him not to ever use that language in front of my family.
He and his friends looked at me like I was mentally unstable. Where did this young man get the idea that it was okay to cuss in front of women and children?
Flip through the channels of daytime or prime time television and you'll be bombarded with so many images of rudeness and profanity, that before long, you'll begin to think it's normal. Hollywood morality may be on the fringe, but it does parallel the appetites and attitudes of America. If the guests on afternoon talk shows are any indication of the mentality of our electorate, we've got trouble.
I'm not one to hold up 1950's America as some sort of societal ideal, because there were plenty of things wrong with that era as well. But I can't help but think that while we've made dramatic advancements in technology and human rights, our culture has crashed into the gutter. Is this progress?
Middle ground
Somewhere between the etiquette of Victorian England and the rudeness of the 21st century, we passed up some decent middle ground along the way. Graciousness and respect seem to have gone the way of the horse and buggy. I'm glad our society is less formal than it used to be. Isn't it possible to be casual, though, without being rude?
For many, manners means knowing which fork to use or how to dress for a given occasion. Ultimately, though, manners should be about consideration and respect for others.
I've eaten on fine china with men in tuxedos who talked like convicts. I've also had fried catfish on paper plates with folks in T-shirts who were more gracious than Martha Stewart.
Who's to blame for the decline of American civility? We can fault Bill Clinton and MTV all we want, but the fact is that we control the atmosphere around us. What we bring into our home and what comes out of our mouths is our responsibility.
Impact
The way husbands and wives talk to each other and about each other in front of their children makes a far bigger impact on their lives than what happens in D.C. or Los Angeles.
When parents are profane, children believe that foul language is a sign of maturity and sophistication. When they grow up watching network sit-coms, they're taught that humor is crude and degrading.
It wasn't very long ago that open homosexual humor was scandalous. Today it's commonplace.
Alexander Pope warned about evil, "seen too oft, familiar with face, we first endure, then pity, then embrace." When parents allow Will and Grace and Jerry Springer into their homes, they are raising a generation of Americans who have no concept of morality, civility or humor.
I'm no prude, and I certainly don't want to raise my son to be one, either. I hope our home is always relaxed and full of laughter.
But I also want my son to know right from wrong and how to treat women with respect. The strongest men I know are all gentlemen.
Craig Ziemba can be heard this Monday on WMOX AM 1010 from 7:15 a.m. 9 a.m.
