Wreck causes influx of dumb statements

At times I am thoroughly amazed by what people say and how stupid those statements can be under certain conditions.

Last week my wife, Erin, and I were driving past the mall in Florence when a lady pulled out of a side street and hit my car. Thankfully nobody was injured, but the front end of my car was damaged.

The driver-side fender was crushed, the front bumper had a vertical split in it, the passenger-side fender was warped and my hood was knocked out of place – elevated anywhere from half an inch to an inch and a half above where it should be resting.

I took the incident in stride and pulled out my cell phone to call the police. Saying Erin was not happy would be an understatement.

The lady said, “I don’t see why you are so upset, it’s just a fender bender, and I have insurance.”

I wanted to ask if she was serious.

I don’t know her financial situation, but I can’t easily afford an insurance deductible to fix my car or an increase in my premiums. Did I mention I am a few months away from getting a refund check from my insurance company for being accident free for three years?

The police dispatcher instructed us to move the vehicles out of the road and wait for a police unit to arrive. While waiting for the cops to show up I heard one of the stupidest statements of my life.

“Did you not see me?”

I thought — Yeah, I saw you. I wanted to say, “Of course I saw you. I was honking my horn.”  I really wanted to say, “Nope, I didn’t see you at all, I always drive down the road honking my horn because I love the toot-toot sound it makes.”

The truth is I did see her. I saw her looking out the driver’s side of her car. I was approaching on the passenger side less than 30 yards away when she pulled out in front of me.

I honked and tried pulling into another lane to avoid her, but she kept coming until we collided. She did not look in my direction until our vehicles were about 10 feet apart.

Before the cops arrived she said she checked the traffic and it was clear. The problem was she never double-checked — if she did indeed check in the first place — before pulling away from the stop sign and into my path.

She kept trying to talk. I kept ignoring her.

I knew I would say something I shouldn’t and knew I would be unable to relay this story here — this being a family-oriented newspaper and all.

Then she made the stupidest statement of the day.

“I travel this road seven days a week,” she said.

I thought — well, you didn’t pay attention today did you? I wanted to say, “Your luck ran out about five minutes ago didn’t it?” I really wanted to say, “It’s a miracle you haven’t killed anyone yet because you don’t pay attention when you drive.”

Instead I bit my tongue and waited for the police. They arrived and told me the accident was her fault, which I already knew.

When I left the scene I thought the stupid statements and questions were over. I was wrong.

Have you ever had to deal with an insurance company? Some of the questions I had to answer — such as “Did you try to stop?” and “You were not able to stop?” — made her post-wreck commentary seem worthy of international acclaim.

I would love to pass along my thoughts on these questions, but again this is a family-friendly forum.

In the end I am thankful that nobody was hurt. That being said, however, I feel a little bit dumber having to deal with so much stupidity.