Jesus Does the Work
“Jesus does the work in my child. It’s His job, not mine.”
My friend Jeannie Cunnion shared this important truth in one of her breakout sessions at a conference I attended last year. It’s one of those truths that has been rolling around in my head and heart ever since.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I start trying to do the work. With a teenage daughter, doing the work can be a lot like nagging. There are days when it feels like all I’ve done is remind her about this and tell her to do that. I’m pretty sure if it feels that way to me, she feels it even more.
When she rolls her eyes or sighs those long sighs as teenage girls are wont to do, I have to admit it drives me crazy. But also, it reminds of Paul’s words to the church at Ephesus, “Fathers (mothers!), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Peterson says it this way in The Message: “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.”
I have a tendency to exasperate my girl. I nitpick about her room and her clothes and her time management and a thousand other things. In my own defense, I am trying to teach her to be responsible and mindful of others. But far too often I really am provoking her or coming down too hard on her.
When she was little, I remember feeling as though I’d never be a good enough mom, that she deserved so much better than me. The truth is, 15 years has only proven those feelings to be true. I’m definitely not a perfect mom, and most days I’m still not sure I’m good enough. I wish she had someone better than me to guide her and point her toward Jesus.
I don’t say that to berate myself – it’s just the truth. I’m not enough. But the good news is, Jeannie is right: I don’t have to be. In fact, God never intended me to be enough. Only He is enough. He’s the perfect Father, the One who knows her and loves her far better than I will ever be able to.
My job isn’t to be a perfect example, it’s to point her to the perfect example of Jesus.
