I’ve got another furry mouth to feed
The first half of 2010 has been a very productive year for members of the staff here at The Franklin County Times.
Actually it would be more accurate to say it has been a reproductive time.
I assure you, there are no crazy scandals going on. Two members of the staff have added newborns to their families while a third is expecting a new addition soon.
I stopped drinking the water out of fear it would either make me more fertile or virile.
Although thinking back on it now, maybe I should have kept drinking the water.
It could have led to a great story. Since I am a man, becoming more fertile and getting pregnant would have brought me international fame and the payday to go along with a new reality show.
It also would have brought about labor pains — getting off the water was a good choice.
Don’t get me wrong; it is not that I do not want children. I love kids and can’t wait to have a few of my own, but now is not the right time.
Besides, I found out it wasn’t the water.
We had an addition to our family last week, and I wasn’t even involved.
Erin called me before coming home to let me know that I was probably going to kill her, but she would not tell me why. When she got home she showed me a kitten.
Erin was worried I would be angry about having another cat — we now have three cats and a Great Dane — but given the circumstances, I could not be angry.
The kitten was one of six left in a plastic bag to die in a hot parking lot. One of my wife’s coworkers found the bag in time to save five of the kittens.
Our biggest argument was what to name him. My wife has one rule for pet names — they must be unusual.
Before I came along, she had cats named Fish, Zook and even Cocaine, which was named for his solid white color.
Since we have been married, we have acquired our four pets and alternated giving them names.
She named our first cat Kilala, I named the dog Balthazar — after the Shakespearian character — and she named the second cat Samara.
I named the new cat Takeo.
Kilala does not like Takeo and hisses at him constantly, but he was not to happy when we got the dog or the other cat.
Samara is scared of Takeo and runs away from him. Balthazar couldn’t care less one way or the other.
Takeo, like our other pets, has a distinctive personality and has been a joy to have around the house.
As nice as it is to have a new pet, I told Erin she is not allowed to bring any more cats into the house.
There are a couple of reasons, such as the cost, a lack of space and having to yell silly names throughout the neighborhood when I call the pets.
The biggest reason, however, is that I do not want to be known as the guy married to the crazy cat lady.
