Columnists, COLUMNS--FEATURE SPOT, Opinion, Scot Beard
 By  Scot Beard Published 
8:00 am Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Absurd comments make me crack a smile

I often try to find the humor in things because life is usually easier if you can have a good chuckle along the way.

Some events are so horrific there is no humor to be found, but many situations are begging to be made fun of. Monday, within the span of 30 minutes, I heard two things that made me stop, consider the absurdity of the situation then laugh.

The first situation was while I was driving to an interview and I heard a commercial on the radio for Heritage for the Blind. Now I do not find humor in the loss of vision, but I do find it odd this organization was asking people to donate cars.

There was no explanation as to how the donated cars would benefit the blind, so the listener could draw only one logical conclusion — the cars are for the blind people.

I’m sure Heritage for the Blind is a fine charity — I have done no research on the organization to verify that statement, however — but it seems odd it wants cars.

Is Heritage for the Blind in collusion with the people who put Braille on the buttons of the drive-thru ATMs?

Surprisingly the commercial was not the incident that caught my attention the most.

While searching for an apartment, a friend of mine inquired about the pet policy. He was told that he could have pets if they did not exceed 20 pounds and the pets were not vicious breeds.

This makes sense at first but further examination reveals the silliness of this policy. Think of all the dog breeds that weigh less than 20 pounds. Now think of how many of those breeds have a reputation for being vicious.

I have never seen anybody running for his or her life because a Bichon Frise was chasing that individual.

I know of a few small dogs that think they are vicious, but in reality couldn’t hurt air.

My sister is the proud owner of a Dachshund named Bunny. Bunny thinks she is as big and bad as the meanest Rottweiler, but when you turn and growl back she tucks her tail and backs away.

Can small dogs be vicious when they have breed names such as Silky Terrier, Dandie Dinmont Terrier, Dorkie, or — my personal favorite for absurdity — YorkiePoo?

I also subscribe to the theory that if a dog can fit in a purse, by nature, it can’t be vicious.

Sorry, I’m not trying to be sexist or anything, I’m only saying dogs that small are more like glorified rats than real dogs. As such I will only be terrified of them if they are carrying the black plague.

It might not be the most popular viewpoint, but it makes more sense than donating cars to blind people.

Also on Franklin County Times
Wife, 65, admits she shot, killed husband
Main, News, Russellville, ...
Kevin Taylor For the FCT 
May 13, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE – A 65-year-old woman is facing a murder charge after she admitted to shooting her husband Sunday evening inside their residence on Dunca...
3 firefighters receive Lifesaver Awards
Main, News, Russellville, ...
María Camp maria.camp@franklincountytimes.com 
May 13, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE — More than two months after city firefighters responded to a cardiac arrest call that left Steven Bledsoe without a pulse for 27 minutes...
FBLA students earn honors at state
News, Phil Campbell, Records
María Camp maria.camp@franklincountytimes.com 
May 13, 2026
PHIL CAMPBELL — Members of the Phil Campbell High School Future Business Leaders of America chapter earned honors during the Alabama FBLA State Leader...
Obituaries
Obituaries
May 13, 2026
Ruth E. Spooner May 7, 2026   Ruth E. Spooner, 90, of Beloit, Wis., passed away on Thursday morning, May 7, at Cedar Crest, in Janesville, Wis. She wa...
The protection system you’ve never heard of
Columnists, Opinion
May 13, 2026
When you visit a doctor, you might notice the framed medical license on the wall. For most patients, that document is simply reassurance that their ph...
Retired educators hear state updates
Columnists, News, Opinion, ...
HERE AND NOW
May 13, 2026
Retired educators met at the Russellville First Methodist Church Ministry Center for the last meeting for the Franklin County Retired Educators Associ...
Students get life lessons with hatching classes
News, Phil Campbell
María Camp maria.camp@franklincountytimes.com 
May 13, 2026
PHIL CAMPBELL — Students at Phil Campbell Elementary School and Phil Campbell High School recently got some handson lessons about animal life cycles a...
STEAM expo highlights student projects
News, Russellville
María Camp maria.camp@franklincountytimes.com 
May 13, 2026
RUSSELLVILLE – Middle school students in sixth, seventh and eighth grade presented the findings of their STEAM Expo projects last week. From testing w...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *