Legacy of a Life-Mother

By By Sandra A. Carrier / guest columnist
Nov. 16, 2003
Sandra A. Carrier is a mother who gave her child up for adoption. She lives in Meridian and is a full-time student. Her column is being published in celebration of November as National Adoption Month. The column has also been published on the Web site www.lifemothers.com.
What is a Life-Mother? They have been referred to as many names: birth mother, first mother, and even just biological mother. I believe that the term Life-Mother fits best.
If God created life, and we choose life for our children, then do we not deserve the name Life-Mother? A Life-Mother is a woman who has made the difficult choice to place the needs of her child before the needs and desires of her heart.
Today, many Life-Mothers choose open adoption because they will be a constant part of their child's life. They will receive photos, letters and visits throughout the child's youth, which will create a bond among the Life-Mother, the child, and the adoptive family. They have one very important common bond: which is the love they share with each other.
Today's Life-Mothers are standing up for their rights and for their children's rights. We are not giving up our children because we are ashamed of our decision. Far from it, we are proud. We choose to stand up for our beliefs. We choose life over death. I ask why a woman would be proud to say that she terminated the life of her baby before he or she even had a chance. A Life-Mother can stand up and say "I choose life for my child." I want them to be able to live, love and be loved." Life-Mothers love will always follow their child through their life.
When I, a Life-Mother, chose my daughter's parents, I told them they would wipe her first tears. They would kiss her first boo-boo. They would be the ones to tell her how beautiful she is on her wedding day. Andrea, her mommy, took my hand and replied, "You will be standing beside me and we will tell her together." She went on to say, "You will always be her mother, you are just honoring me with trust, hope, and faith to raise her."
Life-Mothers who are they? They are everyday women who have become pregnant at the wrong time in their lives. They made tough and gut-wrenching choices. They choose life over death. They choose happiness for their children over happiness for themselves. Life-Mothers are mothers in all and every respect.