Listing a few complaints
By By Tony Krausz / assistant sports editor
March 7, 2003
The folks over at USA Today completed their top 10 hardest things to do in sports this week.
Coming in at No. 1 was "Hitting a baseball thrown at 90+ mph." We'll get to this later.
The journey towards this comprehensive poll, which included comments about how hard everything listed is from professional athletes and "the common man," began with the ear-markings for ridiculousness.
Of course, everybody knows the entire purpose to rank things is to start debate and arguments, but the 10 hardest list decided to push this tried-and-true theory one step further.
The list began by putting "Skiing downhill at 80-90 mph" as the 10th hardest thing to do in sports.
While it is very difficult to stand on skies for a time span longer than say three seconds, how is this No. 10?
Skiing down hill at a high speed is not truly that difficult because gravity is doing all the work.
Though why anyone would want to jump of the side of a mountain encased in ice on a pair of two-by-fours eludes this scribe, going down hill at high speeds is not hard.
What is hard is trying to stop at the bottom of the mountain or before you go careening off a cliff.
Numbers nine and eight make pretty decent sense.
No. 9 is "stopping a soccer penalty kick." This entails a goalkeeper to stand frozen in a spot on the goal line until the shooter strikes the ball from a pretty close distance.
The main thought going through most goalies' minds at this point is, "shank, shank, shank, come on shank." In other words it is real hard to stop a penalty shot.
No. 8 is "riding in the Tour de France." This one should probably be a little higher on the list.
The Tour de France requires a person to be on a bike for way longer than anyone ever intended. They ride up mountains, for speed and the endurance factor is just ridiculous.
Why do you thing everyone marvels at Lance Armstrong?
The folks at USA Today seemed to be on the right track after its 10-spot gaffe, but then No. 7 hit the newsstands and the list took another nose dive.
Now marathon running does take great endurance and determination, but anyone can run a marathon. It's winning a marathon that is difficult.
Heck even the press-box food eating, hardest thing I have to lift is my lap top folks that make up the greater part of sports journalism could run a marathon.
It may take us a few weeks to finish it, but we can run a marathon.
But No. 6 is where this list really falls apart.
USA Today list "Landing a quad in figure skating" as the sixth hardest thing to do in sports.
To perform this aerial maneuver, a skater must build up a good amount of speed, on ice, leap into the air, On Ice, spin around four times in the air and land, ON ICE.
For most of us, just walking on ice is quite the challenge.
But a quad requires to perform something completely against all the laws of gravity that Newton came up with under that apple tree.
There are probably only a handful of professional skaters out there that can even come close to attempting the quad, much less land it.
How this isn't No. 1 or at least a top three just ruins the list.
Come on, it's on ICE!
USA Today's No. 5 selection is debatable, but it sounds hard none the less.
Personally, I can't even get my car to go 130 mph, so trying to return something smaller and moving faster than a motorized vehicle fits pretty well at No. 5.
But again, after placing something in decent rank territory the list flubs the next spot. The No. 4 hardest thing to do is "hitting a golf ball long and straight."
Many people can hit a golf ball long and straight. Maybe not consistently, but long and straight none the less.
Plus thanks to the near NASA like equipment found in most golfers bags now a days, the club is apparently doing most of the work. Just ask consummate second-place finisher Phil Mickelson.
Good ol Lefty informed the word that he can drive the ball farther than Tiger "I take months off and have major reconstructive knee surgery only to come back an win the first tour I enter" Woods solely because of his equipment.
USA Today does make up with its flub on No. 4 with a strong No. 3, "pole vaulting at heights of 15-feet plus."
Running at top speed with a huge pole, placing that pole in the ground and getting over a bar about twice the height of the Shaquille O'Neil, without impaling yourself, has got to be one of the most impressive talents to master.
No. 2 is "Driving a car at megaspeeds around a track and not getting hurt" is a decent pick, but maybe, it is a little high in the second slot.
Now than back to No. 1, hitting a 90+ fastball.
Difficult yes, hardest no.
If it was so hard, Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez would never give up a hit. Hitting a baseball is difficult, but labeling it the hardest is a bit much to take.
Megaspeeds is not defined, and judging by how my grandparents drive megaspeeds for them is anything over 25 mph.
Obviously USA Today is talking about NASCAR and other motor sports, but still, a three-hour left hand turn at high speeds is hard just not as hard as some would think.
