Archived Story

Do not make foolish bets

Published 5:57am Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Rose Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl did not disappoint.

I figured that both of these games would be good ones, but I didn’t know they would each turn into offensive shootouts that would be decided late in the game — or even in overtime.

I made a bet last bowl season that revolved around Wisconsin.

The Badgers were playing TCU in the Rose Bowl in 2011, and I was absolutely sure that Scott Tolzien’s Wisconsin would beat Andy Dalton’s Horned Frogs.

Boy was I wrong.

TCU was legit, and it ended up winning 21-19. I had bet that Wisconsin would win, and if they didn’t, I would have to shave off my mustache.

I also thought that Washington had no chance against Nebraska in the 2010 Holiday Bowl. Jake Locker’s heroics cost me my beard.

I don’t think my face has ever been colder, especially with the snow and cold temperatures of last winter.

January 2010 marked the first time since my junior year of high school that my face was completely shaved. I was not a happy camper, and my college roommate’s first response upon seeing my face — as he had never seen me without facial hair — was “put it back.” Needless to say, he had been part of the bet.

The next part of the bet — it was a series — was the Oklahoma-UConn Fiesta Bowl game. Connecticut had absolutely no business being in a BCS bowl game, and it showed.

The Sooners’ rout of the Huskies saved my eyebrows from destruction.

These events transpired to teach me a valuable lesson — never make stupid bets. The only things I stood to gain were a couple of A&W root beer two liters and one dinner.

I haven’t made any more stupid bets since then, and I’m sure my Van Dyke goatee approves of that message.

My stepdad warned me to never shave my eyebrows anyway, as some people’s may never grow back if trimmed.

The moral of the story is to either not make bets period, or to ask for better things if you win.

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